My name is Njeri Gitahi and I am one of those bloggers who begins every blog like this: “I beg your absolution dear reader! My ohhhhh my! Forgive me for I should blog more often. I promise on my honour that I will do my duty and blog aaaalllllll the time!” Then proceed to never blog! Again, I am profusely sorry and blame it on procrastination, writer’s block and other horrible vices. Maybe its some twisted form of poetry where every post begins the same way? Hmmm…
This February has been THE month. I can’t believe all that’s happened in the last 23 days! I left my job (On 1st) then I cut my hair (On 3rd) then Whitney died (on 4th), Hon. John Michuki of the rattle snakes died(on 20th), mwana nichi Njenga Karume(on 23rd) died !!! Alright, that’s the melodramatic version!
I left my job because there were just 15 days left in the contract and I had other immediate and pressing engagements to attend to….not because I had the “You’re FIRED!” “NO! You can’t fire me because… I QUIT!” exchange in the movies which I find quite fascinating by the way. Plus I needed newness! I am telling you I think I should be given an honorary degree in internship… I’ve done internship after internship for about 27months in total and though I’m thankful for the lessons, I am praying for a good and permanent job. God knows how badly I need one! For real, I have been around this mountain for ages but I am trusting in his perfect timing. I am trusting that God is in the business of giving good and perfect gifts and not half baked cookies that will make me sick like crazy bosses or insane working environments. I am sure soon I will be back here singing with all the gusto my 53kgs can muster, “Great is thy Faithfulness, Lord unto meeeeeeeee!” I can’t wait.
And then I cut my hair. I can’t believe I haven’t regretted it. I had cornrows and when I undid them my hair was so thin and weak. No offense to anyone but I would rather have a bald head than have some 12 strands of thin, damaged and unhealthy hair falling down my back in the name of long hair. So I cut it. I have done it before so the big chop wasn’t too hard. It is the getting ‘round to it that was tough. I’ve wanted to do it for so long but kept thinking about what people will say or think…especially my hairdresser who was so attached. He almost wept when he saw me. Poor guy! I’ve gotten different reactions, some love it some almost hate me because “YOU CUT YOUR HAIR!??! Ngai! What’s wrong with you!?!” Hahaha! Anyway, I am now rocking a little natural afro and I love it completely.
It’s that coming together I guess, knowing that what makes me comfortable is way more important than what people say/think. Every one will always have an opinion, which is perfectly fine. But I am learning to have my own opinions and to revere and hold them in high esteem. My ‘fro is so much easier to manage and once in a while I can shampoo and treat it and have it smelling so nice and I get to shower like a mzungu plus not have to wear 3 shower caps… I’m not sure how I will manage it once it grows but we will cross that bridge when we get there. It’s just hair! It grows! 😉 And for that I am very thankful!
I am so excited and looking forward to turning 25 in April! I can’t wait. Unlike many women I am not afraid to age. I am so proud because I pray to grow wiser every year and so far, I have observed growth and change. In some areas I have grown in leaps and bounds and in some it’s been teeny weeny baby steps. My mind has changed so much, both from my experiences and those of others. I have grown to appreciate life and all its ups and downs now more than ever before. I feel like pieces of me are finding each other and my once foggy purpose is becoming clearer and clearer. This is what I call coming together.
I am so far from finished product. So far from being a complete puzzle but at least with God’s help I am realizing my potential and my worth. My journey has been amazing. I love life so much and the lessons I learn everyday, I deem priceless! I am convinced there are wonderful things hidden away for now and this hope keeps me joyful. I want to leave a legacy. Whitney Houston left a legacy.
Sure, there were some serious mistakes she made that largely contributed to/ were her downfall but for most of her life she was such a star and she shone so brightly! She did not waste her abilities and she brought hope and a smile to so many people. Perhaps because of these bad choices her story ended a little too soon but I say let he who has no sin cast the first stone. I hope she will be remembered for her music because she was all about love and like Bishop T.D. Jakes said during Whitney’s funeral service, Love is stronger than death and love will last forever because God is Love!
I leave you with these words from Bishop Jakes book The Lady, Her Lover and Her Lord ( which I recommend as a must read for every woman.)
There are many types of love. But the one we must begin with is the tantalizing allurement of the impassioned heart that enables us to love others. It is that passion that must start at home before it goes abroad…. It is a healthy mind that can celebrate itself. Then and only then can we determine whether we are loving others because we are so famished for love that we will settle for anyone or anything that gives to us what we should give to ourselves.
Light a candle, play a song, take a walk and meditate on your own accomplishments. Its is a poor hen that will not crow in her own nest.
Happy remaining days of this love month folks!
On my Playlist:
– Superwoman- Alicia Keys
– Woman- Raheeem De Vaughn
-Million Dollar Bill- Whitney Houston
-The Greatest Love of All- Whitney Houston
-My love is your Love- Whitney Houston
– The Beauty Within- Dead Prez
Aaaaannnd… I am not my Hair- India Arie ft.Akon